A Woman of Love and Dignity

What was that?? My whole body writhed in pain and horror as I heard a scream of sheer terror come out of my own mouth!  Who am I? What made that unearthly cry? Why the wrenching, pulling, and tearing within my gut as some wave beginning in my toes weaseled up through my whole body and seemingly out of my mouth, accompanying that ear-piercing yell? What happened?

Just as suddenly as all of that had come upon me, leaving me sucked of all strength, so followed the deepest peace and sense of being clean, whole, and loved overwhelmed me, wrapping me in a blanket of warmth that I had never known in my whole life before.

And then, I saw HIM… I actually saw the man they were calling Jesus, and his eyes were swimming in compassion as they encompassed me with a love and acceptance that caused me to respond with sobs of deep repentance and remorse for all my life had been before this moment... a life of sin and debauchery, a life without purpose or meaning, a life lived to satisfy the demanding, lustful desires of my flesh, and a life with no hope. 

I saw as my life had been, for from the moment He came, everything changed.  Suddenly, I was sure He was indeed the promised Messiah come to save and cleanse those who believe in Him, and I was also sure that He had called me to Himself.

Those evil beings that had controlled me, those seven demons who demanded every bit of my loyalty and used my body to do their evil deeds, were GONE! I was FREE, UNBOUND, gloriously and wondrously light and full of joy! How could I praise Him enough? Then and there I promised myself that I would always be His servant, His daughter, and His companion in what he came to do, and I would offer Him everything I have, money, lodging, food, and loyalty forevermore. I would follow Him for all my days on this earth, doing what He designed for me to do, being a part of bringing the good news of the Gospel to all I met.

And I did follow Him as He continued His earthly ministry, and even unto the cruel death He died, shedding His blood for the sins of the whole world, even though this cost me great pain and a sense of terrible loss as I witnessed, with the other women, His bleeding body on the cross.  

I was inconsolable, and could not wait for the early morning hours to go to the tomb to be sure that His dear body would be cared for as it lay in that cold sepulcher. I went, very early in the morning, with some of the women who also saw Him die, expecting to anoint His body with spices. But when we arrived, we were shocked by the Presence of a radiantly shining angel who gave us the arresting message that Jesus was no longer in the tomb, but had been RAISED FROM THE DEAD! At first we could not make sense of what we heard… come back from the dead? Whoever had done that? Was this a joke or a test to make us suffer more? But we saw the empty tomb and the grave clothes laid out, but HE, our LORD, was not there! The angel told us to go tell his disciples the good news, but as we turned to go, I, still unbelieving, saw who I thought was the gardener, and I fell before him asking him to please tell me where they had taken my Lord, and how we could find Him. Then I heard one word, “Mary.”  There was no mistaking that voice, that one word wrapped in love and spoken into my bruised heart. And I KNEW that it was HE… the same who had spoken my name before when He called me to life after He had cleansed and transformed my life from hellish evil domination to beauty, dignity, and peace. 

HE IS ALIVE, HE IS ALIVE, HE IS BACK FROM THE DEAD! My body could hardly contain the fullness of joy, which swept over me, as I wanted to wrap my arms around his legs and feet as I bowed in worship before Him. But He told me not to touch Him, because He had not gone to His Father yet. I ran with all my might to tell the other disciples the good news, shouting pure praise joyfully all the way! Dearest Lord Jesus, thank you for watching over me to reveal Yourself to me in deliverance, cleansing, healing and transformation. I love You!

The rest of my story can be found in the gospel records in the New Testament.

Mary Fawcett